SHAMELESS PICK UP LINES






1. Girl you so fine I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!

2. Why don't you get down on your knees and smile like a doughnut?

3. Would you mind if I touched your belly button? What about if I did it from the inside?

4. First of all, I'm not a cop. Second of all, what can I get for 50 bucks?

5. Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

6. I've got a condom in my pocket with your name on it.

7. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

8. A cat falls into the water & the rooster laughs. What's the moral of the story??? A wet pu**y alway's makes a happy c*ck.

9. Do you want to do math? Let's add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply!

10. Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it.

11. My magic watch says that you don't have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast

12. You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.

13. Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

14. My socks are having a party, do your pants want to come down?

15. What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper!

16. Lets play carpenter. First we get hammered, then I'll nail you!

17. Do you know what I like in a girl? My dick.

18. I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?

19. If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.

20. I'm not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock!

21. I don't know much about pies but DAMN you make my banana cream.

22. It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!!

23. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

24. If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.

25. A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 fake, 1 real and he says to her " I will stop loving you when all the roses die"

26. There are 206 bones in the human body... do you want another one?

27. You're like a prize winning fish. I dont know whether to eat you or mount you.

28. See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute.

29. Do you work at subway? Because you just gave me a footlong!

30. Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

31. That shirt is very becoming on you, but if I was on you I'd be coming too!

32. If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

33. Do you have a keg in your pants? (No! Why?) Cause I'd like to tap that!

34. If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?

35. People call me John, but you can call me Tonight!

36. If I followed you home, would you keep me?

37. Are you a pirate? Cause I want cho booty.

38. Say "I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you." and kiss her, then tell her you lost the bet.

39. I want to tell you your fortune. [Take her hand and write your phone number on it.] Your future is clear.

40. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.

41. Do you work for Cingular, Cause you're raisen my bar!

42.Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.

43. Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!

44. Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

45. I own a rocket. First stop your moons, then Uranus!

46. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in!

47.Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

48.You know what would look good on you? Me!

49.Is that a ladder in your pants... or the stairway to heaven?

50.Would you sleep with a stranger? [No] Then Hi, my name is...

51. Do you know karate? Cause your body's kickin!

52. Hey Girl let's play lion tamer...you get down on all fours and I'll stick my head in your mouth!

53. Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns.

54. Do u sleep on your belly at night? If no, can I?

55. You turn my software into hardware!

56. Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.

57. There are 20 angels in the world 11 are playing, 8 are sleeping and 1 of them is standing in front of me.

58. Your body is like an hourglass, and I just wanna play in the sand.

59. I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I've noticed you!

60. Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?

61. Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean, and baby I'm lost at sea!

62. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

63. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

64. What do you and the weather have in common? You're both Hot!

65. My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream in bed.

66. You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to tell everybody we did it anyway.

67. I have a snake and he wants to enter your garden. 33 I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

68. Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you!

69. Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?

70. If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together.

71. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be a McGorgeous.

72. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? 58 Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?

73. If you were a burger at McDonald's you'd be the McGorgeous.

74. Hi, my name's Fred, would you like to test my bed?

75. Roses Are Red, Candle Light Flickers, After The Meal, Its off With The Knickers.

76. I would die a million deaths if it meant I could be with you!

77. Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is F*CKED UP!

78. Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.

78. Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me?

79. I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.

80. If you were a car, I'd wax and ride you all over town.

81.If you were a booger I would pick you first.

82. You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

83. [man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me.... I said u look really fat in those pants!

84. Love is four letters so is what me and you should do (other person: whats that?) F*CK

85. Is your shirt felt? (No?) Do you want it to be?

86. Violets are blue, roses are red, what is it going to take to get you into bed?

87. Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?

88. I'm like a faucet. The more you turn me on,the wetter I get.

89. What's up girl, you don't recognize me with my clothes on?

90. Lets play house, you be the screandoor and iIll bang you all night long.

91. I must be in heaven because I'm looking at an angel!

92. Polar Bear (HUh) I just wanted to break the ice.

93. I'm going outside to make out... care to join me?

94. Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice!

95. If I asked you to have sex with me, would it be the same answer as the answer to this question?

96. I'm the 6, do you want to be the 9?

97. Are you form Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see!!!

98. Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" [No] Then wink.

99. Can I fish in your pond since all the others seem to be dry or closed?

100. I'm gay, think you can convert me?

101. Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good!

102. Damn boy there's only 2 things I like riding up my ass, my G-String and you!

103. Did it hurt when you fell? [Girl: Huh?] When you fell from heaven?

104. Can you lick your nipples? [No] Can I? [Yes] Can you show me?

105. Bond....James Bond

106. You're ugly, but you intrigue me...

107. You don't sweat much for a fat chick.

108. If you were a laser you would be set on stunning.

109. Damn girl, you make me feel like a loaf of bread...I wanna rise up in your oven!

110. Are you a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.

111. (steps on some ice) Now that the ice is broken, what's your name?

112. Are you a Hurricane [name]? Cause you're blowing me away.

113. Hi, I’m Mr. Right--I heard you were looking for me.

114. We're like Little Ceasar's, we're Hot and Ready.

115. Are you a gardener? I have a bush that needs a trim.

116. Girl you're like a car accident, cause I just can't look away.

117. I must be lost… because I see paradise.

118. Did something bad happen to you or are you just naturally ugly.

119. (To someone working somewhere where a counter seperates you) You're like a drug to me. Good thing you're over the counter.

120. A tall man to a short woman: "You're perfect height for what you want."

121. I'm going to need a tall glass of cold water, cuz baby your making me HOT!

122. Are you a clock? Cause you're ticking me off.

123. Is your name mickey? because your so FINE!

124. (She asks you the time) Its two flirty and the date's with you and me.

125. Excuse me, did you just fart?




More Pick-Up Lines