Real Dirty Pick up Lines









1. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

2. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.

3. I'm easy. Are you?

4. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.

5. Nice shoes. Wanna screw?

6. You wanna play circus? You roar and I'll throw ya the meat!

7. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

8. Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?

9. I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.

10. I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.

Warmed up? Well, let's get going with more dirty pick up lines!

11. Wanna play TV? I'll play with your knobs while you watch my antenna rise.

12. Hey do you wanna sit on my lap and see what pops up!

13. If I were a carpenter and you were a porch. I'd take out all your nails and screw ya!

Some dirty pick up lines, are potty-like.

14. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

15. Wanna play train? I can sit on your face and you can CHEW CHEW.

16. You must work at Subway, 'cause you just gave me a footlong

17. I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down.

18. Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?

19. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

20. My name's Pogo, d'ya wanna jump on my stick?

Still too clean? Well, have some more dirty pick up lines!

21. Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

22. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!

23. Hump is the subject today, would it be a noun or a verb when you put it on me?

24. Let's play lion and liontamer. Open your mouth and I'll give you the meat.

25. Do you think I can fit that in my mouth? Wanna try?

26. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

27. Is your name Little Red? Cause I could sure ride you in that hood!

28. Wow! Are those real?

29. Love is four letters so is what me and you should do (other person: whats that?) F*CK

30. Hey baby, I got the F, the C and the K. All I need now it U!

31. Roses are red, pickles are green, I like your legs and what's in between!

32. A tall man to a short woman: "You're perfect height for what you want."

33. Baby, you're like a championship bass. I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!

34. How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?

Don't you love the taste of dirty pick up lines in the morning?

35. I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.

36. Why do I have a pierced tongue? You'll soon find out.

37. Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

38. The word of the day is legs; why don't you come to my house and spread the word.

39. If having lunch is like having sex, could I have lunch with you?

40. [Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.

Dirty pick up lines can be direct sometimes, huh?

41. F*** playing doctor do you want to play gynocologist??

42. Nice legs...what time do they open?

43. A you a farmer? No, 'cuz you sure know how to raise a c*ck.

44. Can you suck a golf ball through 50ft. of garden hose?

45. Wanna tickle my Oscar Meyer Wiener?

46. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?

47. Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows!

48. You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.

49. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute